By: Esther Powell
Posted on: Thu, April 01 2021 - 4:42 am
April 14, 2021
People who think scientists are know-it-alls don't read enough science.
Anytime you read about any branch of science you learn that the experts are always ultimately bumping into a "we just don't know" frontier of reality.
Some of the more regrettable verbal conflicts I have engaged in would have been resolved by a good fairy pronouncing benediction upon us, the people in conflict, and saying, "You are both correct - just limited in your knowledge and altogether too certain of yourselves."
Now the Internet could help us discover this, but sometimes we don't look far enough for our answers.
More the fools we.
April 13, 2021
Yesterday - April Fool! I didn't write.
Today we were planning a walk in the a.m. because it was supposed to be cloudy but not rain.
April Fool! It rained.
So late in the morning we went on a short drive, cloudy or not.
April Fool! The sun came out and all the beautiful flowering trees shone in all their glory. Especially the redbuds. They grow wild here.
Now, that's the kind of surprise I like.
April 11, 2021
I saw the word "septuagenarian" used in an article to describe a person in his seventies and thought about "octogenarian" (eighties) and "nonagenarian" (nineties).
Do we call people centenarians? ( I have had to add all four of these words to my online dictionary.) Are people who have attained one hundred years of age respected so much for their longevity that we feel they deserve precision?
I guess it is all too obvious why we don't call people in their sixties "sexagenarians" - well, I won't add that one to my dictionary, either.
We only use those terms for the elderly, obviously.
When a television show was written about trigenarians it was hiply called Thirty-something.
How kind it is to call people "middle-aged" I am not sure. The historical Middle Ages, after all, are also known as the benighted (and beknighted) Dark Ages.
Descriptors are often decried as signs of bias - but what is a poor writer to do? Let the age - or sex or race - of his character be revealed gradually? I certainly see that technique being used more and more.
I like it. Not every mystery revealed has to be a crime.
Meanwhile, what's going on with dosagenerians these days? There's a mystery for you.
No April fool jest intended.
April 10, 2021
April fooled me today in a good way. I picked up a new book I had chosen because of a review that said it was funny at the very least. It was supposed to be about the renovation of a house in the country by and for two New Yorkers.
It is entitled Toil and Trouble but it never occurred to me it would be about witchcraft.
How could it be? Just because those were the words some of Shakespeare's witches spoke didn't mean they would apply in the same sense.
Oh, but they do, they do!
This book is very different from what I expected, and much more fun! I am a quarter of the way through Augusten Burroughs' book and he and his partner haven't even chosen a house yet. And his name didn't even used to be Augusten Burroughs, which cool name was one of the reasons I bought his book.
April Fool! Yay! What fun!
Oh, I almost forgot the sentence that made me want to write about the book:
"Her smile was so big it spread all the way over onto my face."
I bet that now you are all lit up and smiling, too.
April 9, 2021
Yesterday I got what I fear was a scamming phone call rather than a simple wrong number area coded Bisbee, Arizona.
I'm saying, no there's no Gregg here, and my partner nearby immediately starts saying and gesturing hang up, hang up! so of course I don't because I don't want to be rude (that's a real person on the line!) and no is my first answer to the universe - I had to be hauled out of the womb, after all.
The questioner at the other end of the line sounds completely innocent and personable so I say, no this isn't a business and next thing I know I'm saying yes this is a residence and my partner is tearing his hair out in frustration.
What's worse than saying yes was how I said yes. It was a round, relieved, happy here-is-a-question-I-am-able-to-answer yes as wholehearted as was ever given in response to a sexual seduction.
Yes, I am in a residence.
And also yes, I check my credit card charges and bank balances against weird and invalid assaults.
And yes, I am a fool who has maybe invited the necessity for such scrutiny into my life with a phoney yes (not to mention a whole month of posts related to fools, fooling, and foolery.)
But at least there was a real person at the other end of the line. It wasn't a virtual scam.
I am not such a fool either, as to intentionally treat life like a temporary form of entertainment in which I have fun fun fun followed by the death of prison existence.
So am I a fool?
Of course I am!
April 8, 2021
Yesterday there was supposed to be a book club meeting, according to a Monday email, but just to be sure I checked my e-mail again. (Or was I just planning to delete emails and stumbled upon one from our book club maven by accident? Now I'm not sure.)
At any rate, the latest email postponed the club again, so I didn't go.
More the fool I! A couple of other members hadn't got the most recent e-mail, evidently, and went ahead with a discussion I would very much have liked to hear - and join.
Frustrating.When I went to the library a week ago the meeting was unmet, and when I didn't go yesterday I missed out.
Hey, this is too much misunderstanding and miscommunication for me. I refuse to be paranoid about it, but I think I'm done.
April has fooled me once again, but I wonder if there isn't a lesson in this for me.
After all most people seem to think a book club is the biggest yawn in the universe. Even more than books.
Maybe I should find out what they are doing that is so much more fun, except I strongly suspect it is drinking and/or doing drugs.
What are people who think book clubs are boring doing for fun?
April Fool! Although I really want to know, I am aware you cannot respond on my site.
Lack of interactive capability is one of its flaws - or one of its virtues, depending on my mood.
April fool fool fool, foolie woolie wool.
April 7, 2021
Last week and again this morning I walked through the gardens of the Lanthier Winery and it was a complete disappointing bust.
April Fool! A week ago I visited a sea of daffodils. There were so many blooms I couldn't believe there would be any room for anything else. What could there be to look forward to?
I needn't have worried. This week there's a forest of tulips - again, like last year, in awesome variety of shapes and colors, including the biggest blossoms I have ever seen. I don't know their name, but I would be tempted to call them magnolia tulips.
Visit the winery and be blinded by the redbuds and weeping cherry as well as even brighter borders of tulips.
Do that and you will be no April fool.
April 6, 2021
Today after doing some mending I threw away the thread - unfortunately with the needle still attached. I searched a little in the nasty kitchen trash bag, but couldn't find it.
More the fool I, since it is one needle (perhaps the only one) that I could still use.
At this point you may be suspecting that I am unconsciously making these mistakes so that I will have something to write about.
Not at all, I have plenty to write about.
I got a bill this month which has two items on it which I will have to either dispute or rectify.
The first is a Spectrum charge which obnoxiously is trying to make us pay for a full month of service after we switched to another server. Outrageous! They may consider us fools, but we consider them robbers.
The other charge was for an annual pass to Indiana State Parks. We bought it at the gate. I'm pretty sure I had to pass over my driver's license to get it, which shows I am obviously a senior.
Imagine my surprise when I get a bill for fifty dollars! Seniors are supposed to pay $25.00.
I may be flattered if someone took me for a woman ten years younger than I am, but I'm unwilling to pay twenty-five dollars for the compliment.
It's April Foolery schulery schmulery pure and simple and I am tired of being the unwilling victim of the greed and carelessness, respectively, of others.
And April isn't even a week old!
When I told the Spectrum representative at the other end of the line that if they persisted in being so unreasonable we would never subscribe to their service again, she said mincingly, "That's your choice."
You bet it will be. I may be a fool, but I won't give them another opportunity to rip me off.
Not even if it is April.
April 5, 2021
Usually I find in myself an element of folly early in the day. Today it happened at 6:00 a.m. in the tub, when I forgot to check whether I had shampoo or cream rinse in my hand and wondered why it didn't suds up properly.
April Fool! I play it on myself more often than anyone else does...
April 4, 2021
This morning being Easter Sunday, I thought I might walk across the bridge without too much noisy traffic.
And I was almost right; not a single semi went by while I was on the bridge.
But April Fool! So many cars and small trucks have noisy souped-up engines that speeding as fast as they could up the bridge, accelerating as fast as they dared, their drivers made noisy mockery of Sunday peace.
I made it more than halfway across the bridge and enjoyed the view, at least.
The only time to walk the bridge in relative peace is in the very early morning, and thanks to the earlier-in-the-spring time change it is now light too late to beat the commuter traffic.
Again - April Fool!
April 3, 2021
April Fool's Month celebrated itself this morning by making a fool of me for thinking I might take a walk on this sunny gorgeous day.
I discovered a leak under the kitchen sink and spent half the morning emptying dripping rusting cleaners and scourers out from under. Luckily my partner, who insists on packing the area up to the top with supplies, had a tiered system which kept the stuff that absolutely should not get wet, dry.
It's Springtime, so a good cleaning and sorting is in order anyway, I figure, but head under the sink is still not the way I planned to spend my time after laundering clothes this morning.
I think my partner will be in charge of that procedure. Between that chore and working all of Easter weekend, he is certainly not sliding through the first days of April, either.
Ah, April is the cruelest month!
P.S. I found no Easter eggs under there.
April 2, 2021
On the second day of April my screen got integrated again. I could use it the way it was, but the big hole in the keyboard was disconcerting and when the gap is absent my thumbs get more stretchy exercise.
There is this teeny keyboard symbol to the left of and above the spacebar that I must have touched when I was drowsing, which looks impossible to touch normally. Yesterday when I tried to hit it and got the comma instead, that was my experiment for the day.
Like March, which keeps marching all month long, April promises to keep right on fooling us. It is 27 degrees out there, for pity's sake! You'd think it was Febbing out there.
The steamboat park in front of our apartment building gave me a belated April Fool experience (but now we know it is not belated at all but is going to keep happening all month long!) by appearing to be flooded.
Of course the illusion is intentional, since the play structure is a steamboat and has safe surfaces beneath it that are supposed to represent river and bank, but today I thought the park was flooded.
Whoa! I thought. How did this happen without my knowing? No warning at all - no gradual rise in water level. How could this have happened?
The "water" under the "boat" was exactly the same color as the river water and the small leafless trees around it looked like reflections in the flood. That's how.
It was a trick of the morning light. A glance at the opposite shore reassured me that no unexpected flooding was occurring.
But an April Fooling was! Yay!
Happy second day of April!
Maybe more fooling is to come on every day - and more the fool I.
April 1, 2021
April Foolie Woolie to you,
April Foolie Woolie to you,
April Foolie Woolie dear Everybody,
April Foolie Woolie to you!
Think it's easy to write such nonsense?
Ha! You just try it with an external editor (a word processor) as well as an internal one (all the grammar teachers and red pencil markings you've ever seen.)
Without constant checking up on my external e-editor that sentence would have come out
Happy Cookie Cookie to you!
And maybe all the better. Er, batter? Er, battier?
A happy Foolish Forever to you!
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